


Forgotten Keys and Ocean Fishies

by Tahlruil



Series: Tumblr One Shot Fics [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Iron Man (Movies), Iron Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Drunken Shenanigans, Established Relationship, Living Together, M/M, Originally Posted on Tumblr, POV Tony Stark, Tony Just Wanted to Sleep, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-06
Updated: 2017-09-06
Packaged: 2018-12-24 13:42:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12013968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tahlruil/pseuds/Tahlruil
Summary: Tony doesn't always get a lot of sleep - something his partner and all their friends rag him about constantly. For once he's managed to get to sleep at a decent hour andstayasleep longer than a handful of minutes, and he'd be pretty damn proud of himself if he were conscious. But of course this would be a night when Bucky went out drinking with the gang... and he's forgotten a few key points that would have let Tony keep dreaming instead of having to drag his drunken butt to bed.For a tumblr prompt.





	Forgotten Keys and Ocean Fishies

**Author's Note:**

> This is from a mishmash of prompts - 'you're really soft', 'you're cute when you're worried', 'I'd like it if you stayed', and 'have you lost your mind?'.

Tony had been asleep for three blissful hours when he was jolted awake by what sounded like a stampede of elephants, or maybe just one really angry one. “Jay?” The question was groggy and slurred, but his AI was used to his peculiarities and understood him just fine.

"It appears Sergeant Barnes and Mr. Rogers are at the door, Sir," JARVIS answered, amusement ringing clear through his words. "They seem to have forgotten that Sergeant Barnes has a key."

Groaning, Tony dropped his head back onto the pillow and dragged both hands down his face. They had to be drunk - there was no other explanation for it. His Bucky-babe was pretty smart, usually, and Steve wasn’t all that lacking in intelligence either. For them _both_ to have forgotten that Bucky could get in, and that their neighbors hated when there was 'a racket', they had to be three sheets to the wind. The pounding was only getting louder, and he could hear some muffled shouting too. They were so getting a call in the morning, or maybe Mr. Heins would be over himself, looking all mean-faced. Hell, if the idiots kept it up, they might even get a lovely visit from the police that very night.

"Goddammit. Jay, why didn’t we put in the sensors so you could open doors on your own yet?" As he spoke, he reluctantly rolled out of bed, stumbling a little before he caught himself. Yawning and scratching his stomach, he hurried to the door as fast as he could, cursing his boyfriend and his boyfriend’s BFF. "This is a pain in my ass."

"You had the trip to India, Sir, and then you were offended when Mr. Rogers called me 'creepy' and insinuated you would be lost without me."

"But I would be."

"You never like that pointed out, Sir."

"Huh. True. Okay. Well, put in on the fucking list, because this is ridiculous."

"Before or after painting the garage?"

"What the fuck do you think?"

"Before then. Done, Sir, and would you like me to intercept the call currently being placed to the local police department?"

"That's really sweet of you," he answered, scowling as he neared the door. "But I don't need people thinking you're like… SkyNet or something. We'll just handle the police if and when they get here. Maybe I'll put some coffee on for them." Tony could have given the idiots warning, but instead he stood to one side, then yanked the door open hard. Bucky and Steve tumbled inside in a tangle of limbs and a lot of really loud cursing, which was fucking aggravating because now _Mrs._ Heins would be the one to visit, holding a bar of soap in a very pointed manner. Jesus fuck. "Have you lost your _mind_?" he hissed, not sure which moron he was talking to. Bucky should know better, and Steve _definitely_ knew better, and whoever the hell had driven them here was officially on his shit list.

"TONY!" Bucky bellowed, shoving Steve away from him and lunging at Tony's legs. He just about took Tony to the floor with him, but Tony firmed his knees just in time, arms windmilling wildly as he tried to keep his balance. "I missed ya. Missed ya lots'n lots'n lots'n… just a whole bunch." His idiot boyfriend clearly had no volume control at the moment, because he was sill talking way too loud, with just a touch of a slur. Thankfully, Steve had crawled his way to the door and slammed it shut, and was now staring at it in a very satisfied manner.

"Kept the outside out," he reported proudly to no one. Tony could feel a throbbing in his left temple, and he prayed for patience as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Very good, Mr. Rogers." Jay was a fucking Godsend, and would be able to handle Steve just fine while he focused on the idiot that was his. "I believe after doing such a fine job with the door, you will be able to stand and make your way to the couch."

"Need a path," Tony heard the tiny blond answer belligerently before he turned the bulk of his attention to Bucky, who was still informing Tony how much he’d been missed.

"You're like… like the ocean Tony, 'cause how it’s so salty and… unpredictable and it's got all these fish, right? Pretty ones with all the colors and stuff. But the ocean - Tony, Tony, we should go the ocean, but the one by Malibu 'cause the one here is cold and shit, but you're not cold, you're all warm and deep and blue - but the fish! Tony. The fish. They'd be fine without the ocean, right? The one you're going to teach me to surf in? You know the one, the warm one with the fish that’d it'd be fine without." Jesus Christ, his boyfriend was a fucking lunatic, and Tony was even crazier for finding his drunken attempt at speech endearing. "That's you, Tony, and I'm… I'm the fish. But the pretty ones, with like… like colors and shit. Not those flat ugly suckers. I wanna be a… a fish with… I dunno. But one in warm water because you're a warm ocean and I'm a fish and I have to have you to be okay. That's how much I missed you - like a fish misses the ocean. Can I go to bed now?"

"Yes, you beautiful mess, you can go to bed now." When he carded his hands through Bucky's hair, the man tried to start purring - probably thought it would be funny in his alcohol-soaked mind - and only managed to sound like a car engine trying and failing to turn over. It was sort of adorable though, so Tony kept up the motion and didn't say anything about the weird noise. Instead he used the time to track Steve's motions. Jay was coaching his wobbly path to the living room, where he could sleep on the sofa until he sobered up a bit.

Tomorrow, Tony decided cheerfully, seemed like the _perfect_ day to wake up early and work on projects that required very loud power tools.

"Alright, come on Bucky-bumbles. I can't carry you so I need you to stand up so we can get you to bed."

"Okay. But Tony?"

"What?"

"You never said that we could go to the ocean."

"We can go to the ocean."

"'N you didn't say the ocean wouldn't be the ocean without fish."

"Buck-"

"Toooonyyyyyy," he whined, smooshing his face against Tony's stomach and rubbing his nose there. "Ooooh… you’re really soft."

"That'd be my shirt."

"We pick good fabric softener."

"Oh my fucking God."

"Does God fuck?"

"James Buchanan Barnes. Get your ass up off that floor and help me get you to the bedroom, or so help me I will leave you here and go to bed all by myself."

"Nooooo. Tony… Tony if I stay you hafta, 'cause I missed you'n even if I said the ocean - when can we go?"

"What?"

"When can we go to the ocean?" Bucky peeked up at him with one bloodshot but hopeful eye, and Tony felt himself melt.

"You're not gonna remember any date we set tonight. We'll talk about it in the morning, okay?"

"Kay. But Tony. Tony. Tony. To-"

"What?"

"The ocean needs fishies as much as the fishes need the ocean, so you can't leave me. If I stay here, you gotta too. Okay? I would really like it if you… if you stayed here and then you could be my warm, salty ocean pillow and we'd be sooo happy because we'd be together, and-" This wasn't cute - it wasn't cute even a little bit. Tony was angry, not charmed, and Bucky wasn't being super adorable.

"How much did you have to drink?"

"I dunno. Tasha bought me stuff and said 'drink' and so I did, and then the room went kinda swimmy, but then she gave me more and things got fuzzy instead, and then I thought of you and the ocean and I missed you so much so I had her bring me'n Stevie home, and then you weren't happy to see me, and you think the ocean would be just fine without colorful fishies." Tony tried to remind himself again that he was angry, but it was hard when his boyfriend had started sort of listing from side to side, humming into his stomach.

"I was happy to see you, it's just late and I was sleeping, and you were being very loud," Tony murmured, running his hands through Bucky's hair again. "You're right, the ocean without any fish would be boring, and I thought we'd decided that Nat is not allowed to pick your drinks? You only forget about your key when she's the one handing them out."

"I got a key? Tony… you… you gave me a key to your house?"

"It's our house, remember? We bought it together?"

"Oh my God. I'm so lucky. TONY! We live together!" Bucky proclaimed it like it was the most wonderful thing he'd ever heard, and Tony was so in love with him that it was pathetic.

"Yeah, we do. Tomorrow we'll talk about visiting the ocean to surf and see the, ah, the fishies. We'll also have a long talk about why you're not allowed to drink with Nat anymore and why she just dropped you and Steve off instead of helping you get inside."

"Sam was driving, not her, and he said we could get our own stupid asses inside 'cause it was our fault for being so dumb and drinking with Tasha."

"Jay?"

"Noted, Sir." Wilson was in for SUCH a pranking. "Mr. Rogers is asleep on the sofa - shall I set an alarm to wake him up in the morning?" For one spiteful moment, Tony almost said 'yes, and make sure it's loud', but relented at the last moment.

"No, it's fine. We all have tomorrow off - no alarms. We'll all get up when we get up."

"Very well Sir."

"JARVIS! Did you know me'n Tony live together? Like fishies in the ocean?"

"I did, Sergeant Barnes, but congratulations once again."

"Thanks. Tony, why aren't we in bed?"

"Because you won't stand up and I can't carry you."

"Bet I could carry you," he retorted, standing up with alarming speed and nearly tipping over in the process.

"Bucky! Let's not… I know you can carry me, but let's not try that tonight, okay?" Tony murmured, steadying his boyfriend, encouraging him to lean on Tony. "You're really drunk, and I don't want you to hurt yourself trying."

"Kay. You know, you're cute when you're worried. Really cute. So cute. My cute live-in boyfriend." Bucky was probably aiming for his mouth, but Tony ended up getting a big, wet smooch on the cheek; when Bucky tried introducing his tongue to the mix, he decided that was enough of that and pulled away just a little.

"Thanks. Okay. Let's get you to bed where I can be the ocean-"

"Salty, warm ocean."

"… right. Salty warm ocean. And you can be a… a pretty fish of indeterminate color."

"Mmmkay. Tony!"

"What?"

"I have KEYS!"

"Jesus fucking Christ."


End file.
